Meet Erin

As a pregnant teen, I was told a lot of things. “You won’t be able to finish school. You’ll never be able to support yourself. You’ve ruined your life. How could you let this happen? Are you not with the dad? No one wants a girl with baggage. You’re damaged goods.”

Encouraging stuff, no?

I also faced a lot of very real statistics that made these things seem depressingly true:

• Only half of the teen parents graduate high school (…well, got that one done already.)
• Only two percent of teen parents get a degree by age 30. (…30? I won’t finish college for the next 11 years?)
• My kid will have double the rate of a prison sentence or become a teen parent themselves. (…guilt, guilt, guilt)

The list goes on.

These words and statistics permeated my brain and occupied my thoughts so much so that they slowly but surely settled in and became facts. The inevitable. The price I would pay. It’s been said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re usually right.”

So what if teen moms heard a different chorus? One that rallied for education and healthy relationships. One that advocated for growth, maturity, and making bold moves. A voice that acknowledged our dreams and showed up each week to help us get there. One that showed us that motherhood is not a slamming door on all we’d imagined for ourselves, but an alternate route.

A steep and turbulent route, but a route nonetheless.

Orange County Teenage Pregnancy Stories – ErinThis voice exists, and it has a name: Fristers. I arrived for my first meeting as a teenage college dropout, with a six-week-old I was trying to learn how to love, stringing along an unfaithful ex, and seemingly doomed to become what I was told I’d become. But… FRISTERS.

On day one we were setting goals, making dream boards, and sharing fears and experiences. In this group of girls who could relate to my experiences and hardships, I was no longer singled out, weird, or viewed as a disappointment.

In time, Fristers went from being my safety in a season of change and heartache, to being my advocate as I bet I could beat the odds. First with an Associates, then a Bachelors, then a job, an apartment, and my own Christmas tree to decorate with my daughter.

Fristers was my accountability partner and checked in at each step while I worked toward the goals I had set. They recognized my progress — academic, emotional, parental, you name it — no matter how small. Most importantly, they did not pity me; they celebrated me. They refused to coddle, and rather, challenged.

Today, as a self-sustaining college graduate, I represent less than 1% of teen moms. And throughout the years of endless setbacks and successes that got me to where I am today, I always found that whenever I lost momentum, lost ground, or even lost hope, Fristers was one of the few things that could not be lost.

Since taking the road less traveled with Fristers by my side, I’ve found myself at many places I had been told were out of reach. On business flights to San Francisco, standing atop the highest mountain in the lower 48 states, reading to my daughter each night before bed in a place we call our own.

But it’s only because one Wednesday night, in the Fall of 2010, I decided to sit around a table with other young moms like myself and let the narrative of my life transform.